The lonely closet

All of us at one point and time in our lives feel lonely, isolated, destitute, and depressed. It is worse so when you feel that no one really knows you for who you really are. This is what most of us find ourselves battling with every day. There is a piece of you; a large part of what makes you – you, and you can’t share it with anyone. Our only outlet is a backlit screen pushing threads and topics across the screen communicating with those few others who not only understand the plight but, suffer from it too. If it has not happened to you yet, it will. The computer will no longer provide you comfort and none of the topics speak to you anymore. You are feeling the urge to seek acceptance from someone else.

But how do you do it? What on earth could be a good ice breaker to introduce someone into the world of zoosexuality? As we have seen many times before there are very few, if any, people that we can outright trust. Families have turned their very own children over to police or self righteous psychologists. It’s very hard to find a friend who will keep such a secret safe. And unless you met your significant other through a zoo friendly environment chances are they will take to the idea as well as getting a third wheel for the weekend.

What is one to do? The first thing you MUST do is be careful! With so many people out there wanting to show their moral superiority by literally enslaving us to their beliefs, you can’t be too cautious. But what exactly is going on in someone’s head when you break the news to them? We all know the unfortunate thought process of close minded people. I will speak of people who are truly open minded and willing to entertain ideas that are different than their own. Believe it or not there are people like this out there. These people usually have a high CQ, cultural quotient, and EQ emotional quotient. [Both CQ and EQ readings are included in my current study – if you are interested in receiving a free test please email me and ask to take part in the study Dogbertzoo@gmail.com]

Even though Chin & Gaynier are professors on global management and leadership in their 2006 work they introduced the Global Leadership Competency (GLC) model. This seven level model was originally designed to gauge and map progress on ones journey through different cultures. In the opening statements of their work they state that many times people “confuse recognition with judgment and it is judgment, particularly negative stereotypes, which feed discrimination”. I feel applying the GLC to any behavior labeled ‘socially deviant’ would provide perfect feedback from either a person or group of people.

There are seven levels of competencies, in order from the first level to the final one: ignorance, awareness, understanding, appreciation, acceptance, internalization and adaptation. These different levels perfectly demonstrate what someone will go through when exposed to a lifestyle different than their own. We will walk through all seven steps and try to apply them to the mind of a heterosexual as if a zoosexual had come out to them.

Believe it or not, most people are truly ignorant to the existence of a zoosexual orientation let alone the fact that people actually participate in it. It is a very short step and could be considered a stagnate or staging step that a person can live in forever. Once a previously unknown behavior becomes known the subject immediately steps onto the next step, awareness. Awareness is a pivotal step where people can easily become stuck. This is the knee-jerk step where an immediate feeling is generated. Usually the person will feel inclined or disinclined toward the newly recognized behavior. One of three different feelings can be immediate; positive feelings, neutral feelings, or negative feelings. Through these feelings the person will intern label the act as one or more of the following; strange, interesting, possibly enjoyable, frightening, annoying, wrong, right, or indifferent. The behavior can be so far removed from the course of what the subject perceives as a normal behavior they can actually determine that the act is staunchly wrong. It is at this point that all progress stops.

The next step is the understanding step. This is not to be confused with accepting the behavior or feeling positively towards it. This phase is where the subject seeks answers to the new behavior. Remember in the last step where some people tend to get stuck? If a person is stuck in the previous step they will not achieve this step in full. They will move on to a pseudo level of understanding. This is where the subject will form opinions and ideas from their own past experiences and what they perceive to be right and wrong. At this point they are irrevocably lost in their progress up the GLC model. People who remain stuck here suffer from a very low CQ, in which they are unable to accept or even tolerate ideas different from their own. A subject in this state most likely suffers from a low self esteem or self worth and expresses this through the classical bully complex.

For the subjects that are truly progressing they can be expected to employ several different methods of research. First and foremost they will compare the act to acts that they are already familiar with. This provides prospective and creates an image on how the new behavior relates to a behavior that may engage in on a normal basis. They will then continue their research by asking questions, observation, or any other means available. There is a lot of bad information available on a many different subjects zoosexuality not being the least of them all. There have been a many biased and askew studies preformed and as many false statements made. It takes a truly open mind and sharp eye to weed through the chaff in search of true un-biased knowledge.

Appreciation and acceptance are the next two steps and according to Chin & Gaynier go hand in hand. It is in these two steps that the subject begins to let go of the idea that their way is the only way. They understand that others may not live like them but are still good people with their own beliefs and desires. The steps are very closely related but still separate. During the appreciation step the subject not only understands the new act but, appreciates the act for the unique purpose of the act. Acceptance shows the subject that weather or not the act is something that they will participate in it is a normal act that brings someone else pleasure.
Internalization stage is achieved when the person clearly understands and has the ability to fully comprehend and interact with an individual who is involved with the act. This does not mean that the subject participates in the act in any way, although they may. The subject understands the dynamics of the act and can converse on the subject of the act without judgment or discrimination.

This is the process that a person will likely work through when confronted with the idea of zoosexuality. There are many holes in this process where a person can get stuck or develop very negative feelings. Especially when working through the awareness and understanding phase. It is possible to take a truly open minded person and alienate them during the understanding phase. It all depends on what school of thought they subscribe to. With the proliferation of the internet the proliferation of misinformation has only increased. There are many great resources for meeting people and discussing zoosexuality. Beast Forum is a great community that only tolerates respect and open-mindedness. You need not be a zoosexual to become a part of the community but, you are expected to be respectful towards everybody. Facebook is another place to find good information on zoosexuality. There are several pages dedicated to providing equal rights to zoosexuals. Sadly most rescue and abuse societies are against zoosexuality citing many myths and incorrect information.

If you are thinking of coming out of the closet to someone regarding your sexuality you should have a strong feel for their CQ and their ability to work through the GLC model. The consequences of their mental failures could end up costing you a friend at best. At worst you could expect to be run out of town, jail time, and even forced to register as a sex offender. Considering it is against the law in most places I challenge you to put your lawmakers to the CQ test and determine how low they fall on the GLC model.

The truth is there is no cookie cutter way to introduce someone to a new culture or act. It takes a special person to internalize something that they themselves may never participate in. There are a few things that you can do to portray a positive zoosexual image. Be clean, honest, approachable, respectful, and smart. It’s key to be someone that is hard to hate. If you are an all around good person who is appealing and respectful of others feelings and beliefs they will have little recourse but to say ‘your alright, not my bag but alright’. And be smart. Understand both sides of the debate and know the opposing view just as well as your own. Be able to dispel myths using creditable non zoo related sources.

If all works out well you will still have your friend and best of all someone who understands you and accepts you as you. It’s not something to rush into, but to take your time in considering and delivering. I have lost two very serious relationships because of this. The first time I came out to my then girl friend I was very poorly educated on the subject of zoosexuality and the concept of CQ, let alone EQ. Basically, it went south quickly, and the relationship ended. The second time I was better educated and took the time to consider the full situation. I ultimately ended the relationship on good terms and left my sexuality out of the picture. I came to the conclusion that it would end the relationship any ways and irrevocably ruin any possibility of a friendship developing after the relationship. She still does not know and we are still good friends.

Take your time, consider your options, and be very picky when you decide who you are going to tell that you are a zoosexual. There is a lot of support available, but there isn’t a lot that can be done when the wrong person finds out and comes after you and your lover.